With props to our dancers, our shooter (!), and our faultless editor, Tiny Kit:
Monday, December 8, 2008
If someone were to hypothetically make that nomination, however, I might second it.
A: Nice, now I have that awesome AC/DC song in my head. Count me in. I hope to drop the five minutes the team needed just from my legs alone. Let me know what kind of money I owe you. Thanks for coming out on Saturday. Sorry you missed out on the rest of the run. We kept a pretty consistent pace until we started heading back to Cambridge. Gaffer and I started throwing down all sorts of crazy shazamm in the final miles. He was complaining all the way.
Editor's Note: This representative e-mail from Chesticles begs the following commentary:
1. Yes, it is truly a wonderful AC/DC song.
2. When Chesticles refers to dropping 5 minutes, do you think he means from his time or does he intend to actually slice 5 minutes off of his legs?
3. Prompt payment is the preferred currency of HKAC.
4. You can bet the "shazamm" referred to in the final miles of Saturday's run included one turned ankle, one stranded runner, 3 miles erroneously estimated at 6:00 pace (7:30 actual), at least two miles at 5:50 pace, lots of surges, lots of Van Halen, some chafing-related blood, one hidden replenishment of Gatorade, and a whole lot of kvetching from Gaffer 2000.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Found lying filthy, naked and drunk on a bench in a local Roxbury park he initially responded, “What? YOU again?! No, I will NOT MARRY YOU MR. ROBOT!...Uraaaagh!”
After several cups of coffee and three cigarettes subdued the bout of vomiting he added, “Oh, yes, THAT. I have literally hundreds of jars of research stored on my closet shelf! I have a mullet and wear a kilt! You’re telling me that Hugglesworth was able to figure out how to make one before ME?!”
The interview then came to an abrupt end after Gaffer 2000 leapt off the bench and began singing “Like a Virgin” while simultaneously spinning in place and relieving his bowels like some sort of futuristic farming equipment.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Quote Huggins: "I really felt that team needed to focus on building up our farm system."
In response Anders "The Capt'n" Peterson was quoted thusly, "That things already got those Molly/Truddy hamsticks for legs. Is it giving me the bird with it's middle toe?"
WeeHuggins was unavailable for comment per his/her recent recruitment but did offer some strange swimming motions, and an umbilical wiggle for all the fans to see.
"Gosh, it's sure gonna be nice not to be the youngest on the team anymore." We could hear Truddy McBedpan mumble in the background of the news conference. "Maybe I can finally get me a nice bite of Broccoli RAAABE when I get out of here." "It's pronounced RAHBE, like AH, you tard." An irate Brendan Callahan was heard to say after being slighted at a recent post NYC Marathon Sports Illustrated Interview. "I don't care who Huggins thinks he's gettin' on this team." BC shouted at reporters. "I've got a contract. A CONTRACT!!! He can't cut me!"
Word around the campfire is that WeeHug will be present at winter training camp for some serious shake down and a chance to get used to the majors.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
What conclusions might we draw from this photo?
A. The rare moment when Chesticles is captured getting a word in edgewise on Garcon.
B. The coming holy hell of the literal and figurative storm about to be unleashed on HKAC.
C. The foundational brick laying of a solid marathon plan.
Even though "B" is the right answer and will forever be the right answer re: all things Kitty, due credit is to be given Garcon, for dropping a scintillating 2:56:45 PR at Cape Cod, and to Chesticles, for helping him get there. At first blush, Chesticles' method of concentrating all weekly mileage into one orgasmic long run seemed counter to Garcon's steady and progressive summer and fall months of training. The same can be said for Chesticles' emotional, rock and roll, overpass-fueled training run surges in contrast to Garcon's take-it-out-hard-and-keep-it-hard approach. Chaffmaster chafed, "Will they really be compatible?"
We have our answer. Chesticles hopped in at mile 2, was steady and encouraging, and in return was so taken by Garcon's consistency over the hills, he decided to reward himself and everyone by running the full final 24.2 miles. Carson himself credits Chesticles' in-race smoothness as one of the reasons for that lightning quick final 5k, culminating in a 6:20 final mile. Congratulations all around.
Point being, I think we've all learned something here. Kowloon, Gaffer 2000 wants it to be known that he will be furnishing this same succor to you at NYC this weekend. "Heh Heh Heh. Sure, I can whip his butt into shape. What'd ya say we're doing again?" queried a softer, more nurturing and nuanced Gaffer 2000.
We should all be so lucky.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Much further back, in a pile of rubble not to be confused with a Flemmi/Bulger sculpture at UMASS Boston, lie a pair of spent harriers. Hey Bear was birthing it right along until the climax at Wollaston Beach. Early prognosis is sore hips; DL estimate is 6-6 1/2 years. Alongside the petered-out Bear rests the Wookie, who, in a valiant effort to run interference at the front in hopes of controlling the pace, literally burst into flames. "He looked good today," remarked Chesticles.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Reach the Beach Relay
The Reach The Beach Relay is a long distance relay race that is run through the picturesque hills and valleys of New Hampshire at the start of foliage season. It is the longest running relay race in the North America at approximately 204 miles, starting from Cannon Mountain and ending at Hampton Beach.
The race is currently capped at 350 teams (increased from 300 in 2006) and has filled up for the last several years. Participating teams traditionally come from the New England area, but as the race grows more and more teams are signing up from around the country and the world.
The relay was started in 1999 by two multisport athletes who wished to bring a multi-day, relay-style race to New England. It is modelled after the grandfather of running relay races, the Hood to Coast relay in Oregon. The first year enjoyed participation by 31 teams, with the first team finishing in 23 hours and the last team in 32. By 2007, there were 351 finishers, and the race size was capped at 350. It sold out on June 14, 2007. In 2008, the race sold out on April 8.
Each year the course undergoes some minor changes and as such the total distance has increased from around 198 miles to around 210 miles. It is segmented into 36 legs, and is run primarily by 12-person teams. The starts are staggered, starting at 7:30 and ending at 3:00, with the faster teams (based on their applications and history) starting latest. Each team will run their roster three complete rotations when the race is complete, so the runner in position one runs leg 1, 13, and 25, runner in position two runs leg 2, 14, and 26, and so on. Twelve-person teams use 2 vans, with one van eating and resting (and trying to sleep) while the other van is running its legs. Teams of fewer than 12 are permitted to race, but they must maintain their order. For instance, on an 11-person team the first three runners will have to run four legs each. A team with six or fewer runners is called an Ultra. If a runner is injured during the race and cannot continue, the subsequent runners move down one slot.
Individual legs vary in distance from 2.5 miles to 9.3 miles and total distances for runners varies from 13.9 miles to 22.5 miles. The first eight legs changed dramatically in 2007 when the start was moved from Bretton Woods to Cannon Mountain, requiring runners to run the significant uphills and downhills of the famous Kancamagus Highway. It was a one year appearance, however. In 2008 the race course was rerouted north along Interstate 93 to Beaver Brook Wayside Rest Area, which is the starting location of the first two Reach the Beach Relays (1999 and 2000). The new course also passes Bretton Woods Mountain Resort where the race started in the years 2001 through 2006 and included a 5K run up and down the ski slopes.
In 2007, 351 teams finished, with Hello Kitty repeating as champion in a time of 21:12:30 (averaging 6:10 per mile). The 351st team finished in 34:14:47 (after being assessed a 1 hour penalty for vehicle support). 2007 Results
In 2008, a record 356 teams finished. An exciting race for the title developed between defending champion Hello Kitty AC and New Balance Boston, made even more dramatic by Hello Kitty AC losing one runner to injury and New Balance Boston losing two to injury. In the end, New Balance Boston dethroned the repeat champions by a mere 6 minutes with a time of 21:29:34 (6:10 per mile average). The 356th team, Team Brainlab, finished in 35:11:54 (10:05 per mile average). 2008 Results
The race is run on a Friday and Saturday in the middle of September, which generally means cool but comfortable running weather. But with New England weather, one needs to be prepared for extremes. The most feared weather system by the participants is the hurricane. While technically a hurricane has never rolled through New Hampshire on race day, the remnants of three hurricanes (or what felt like hurricanes) were felt in past years.
- Hurricane Isidore in 2002
- Hurricane Ivan in 2004
- Some would argue Hurricane Ophelia in 2005 but a review of the weather maps show that it was just plain old rain that drenched the course
In 2007, the weather was cool and rain fell on runners off-and-on from about 12:30 on Saturday morning until early late Saturday morning.
 External links
Monday, September 29, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Joel, from the RTB team 'Kicking Asphalt', captured these images of HKAC. The link above (click on the post title) has all of his photos from RTB 2008. From looking at these photos we can see that kitties stand at attention well, sometimes we are blissed out and other times it's like herding cats.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
HKAC can certainly learn a few pointers from its young and resilient fan base. Despite an unexpected and disappointing 323rd place in the RTB '08 van decorating competition, this fan would specifically like to remind the team what brought them to the top of the heap in the first place. Namely, the shameless willingness to flaunt the fleecy, pink attire - it was a risky move, but it has never failed to bring laughter and joy to the sweaty, salty harriers of RTB. Thus, dress warmly and remember that kitties always land on their feet, in fact, kitties have no need for new balance.
1. an explosive device formerly used in warfare to blow in a door or gate, form a breach in a wall, etc.
2. a kind of firecracker.
3. hoist by or with one's own petard, hurt, ruined, or destroyed by the very device or plot one had intended for another.
Every year we forget and every year we'd rather forget that RTB is Gaffer 2000's memorial date of birth. It's not really anything to celebrate, just like the yearly arrival into Hampton Beach, the yearly recognition of the birth of one of the most questionable members of the Hello Kitty Athletic Club is, at best, something to just get past. But, seeing as that Beachtember is a time of giving, we the members of HKAC would like to wish the very best to our very own "little petard" and remind all of our members to.... "YOU JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!"