"Yeah, well, there were no snipers on the Founders Bridge to slow me down like last time," said the grateful harrier, referring to a severely Kitty-ized/tenderized hammy from his 2013 debut. "Oh, I'm just thankful everything held together out there today."
Indeed, Yars's performance is a 20+ minute PR, and a provisional Boston qualifier.
When probed about his effort not having been certified by the HKAC-CT dual authorizers, Brandon Kowloon and Hildo aka Secret Weapon, Yars expressed bewilderment first, and then his trademark humility.
"Madge and the BI Beasts really screwed me with those 4 legs at RTB, including the ankle breaker up and down Bretton Woods. And I do it, because I'm just here to help, you know. Sure wasn't too confident I'd come back from that, though. My legs haven't been right since."
Apparently, that was Yars's first regret in the lead-up to Hartford. But it wouldn't be his last.
"I got to the half right around 1:30, and dreams of ducking 3 hours instantly were in my head. And with those dreams were the regrets of not having interned under Chesticles and Gaffer 2000 in my prep. From what I can tell, they essentially challenge each other to run faster each successive mile (nothing slower than a 6:10, mind you), and then take turns poking the other with an electric cattle prod, whether or not the goal is met. I'm just sorry I cost myself that opportunity."
Despite the home office bureaucracy losing the forest for the trees, there is a lot to celebrate with this performance. Building on HKAC-Dirty South's trail relay showing last week, Yars has established himself as a bonafide shizz crammer. The team is proud. Here's to more memories in the coming weeks and months!