Thursday, April 19, 2012

Kittys Add Special Sauce to Boston

"I probably got myself in a little trouble with an opening mile of 5:30."

"I figured I'd just walk the two miles from the finish home to Southie. I made it a good distance before blacking out on somebody's stoop."

- Chesticles, 4/16/2012

Surprising though it may be, the Kittys rose from obsolescence to prominence in this year's Boston Marathon. Shortly before the race, it was assumed that no Kittys would enter, because no Kittys run anymore.*

* It is noted that Rocko in fact hammers 45 miles per week on a treadmill/keyboard hybrid, but alas is confined to running in a controlled indoor environment only.

Well, fear not, Kittys. Chesticles certainly left his scent on the field, tapping out a 2:48, good for 19th in the 50-59 age group, in 90 degree haze. He was subsequently spotted doing wrist curls with Olivia "Horst Balls" Chesticles later in the evening.

King Sammy's day in Boston began poorly. He forgot to wear organ-eye-zational attire, and was facing the prospect of hefty sanctions until he took matters into his own hands. At mile 10, he jettisoned a pair of soaked, Rumple-approved Jams, and proceeded through Wellesley, BC, and past thousands of gawking spectators in his Knapp briefs. At the end of the day, when he washed off the stickiness of his 35 consumed Flavor Ice pops, Sammy found himself a mere 8 minutes off his PR.

Well played, Kittys!