Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sloppy Rumple... A True Southern Treat!

Saute up some onions. Slice up a couple Sausage McRowley's. Put that in with your onions. Let all that cook for a couple minutes. Now add two cans of BeanTown Baked beans (these things are hard to find in the south) . Crack five eggs over the top. It helps to make little eggy divets in the Beans to help keep them in place. Now bake the whole damn thing in the oven for 30 minutes at 350. Serve your Sloppy Rumple on tortillas or toast.

Man... That's some good eatin'. Specially in "these economic times."
Totaly Sloppy Rumple cost: $1.83 (some wandering Mexicans gave us tortillas and now that backyard chickens are legal in Durham eggs cost nothin' cept a little backyard stink.)

Monday, February 16, 2009

"He once climbed ten thousand feet in under two minutes"

M 5k H02 5k | 2009 BU Valentine Invitational on Flotrack

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Kowloon...Eatin' It Out From the Back Side!

"Brandon Kowloon is a retard!' Quoth Senor Hugglesworth at a recent meeting of the Regional Association of Assistants to the Assistant to the Team Captains of Team Spirit(s)! "If that guy had listened to me the first time he would've been Eatin' it Out from the Backside that whole damn time, instead brown cappin' and making the rest of us look bad." Kowloon's recent "accolades" at the "valetine's day" "invitational" "race" can only be accounted to one thing. Team Chef, Russ "Sloppy" Rumple had this to say. "Kowloon's no friend of mine! Get outta my face. I guess he did ok. It's probably cuz the man races like he does he's gonna get a whipin' if he doesn't get it done quick. Which he will...where the hell is that guy anyhow?"
Recently Gaffer 2000 who made his live TV debut on the Oprah Winfrey show claiming to have discovered the "Ancient City of the Lord Gaffer" had this to say "Now that I can live happily in the town limits of "Gay"
I've got all the lovin' that I need. No more will I have to father illegitimate love children with that whore of a father we call "Hugglesworth" By the way have you seen "WeeHug's Dong? That things a Monster!! Kowloon should be ready for some serious "Backside Eatin' if he expects to make HKAC 2009! I account his recent performance to one thing...It's all that back side eatin' that he does! That's what it is. Back Side Eatin'!"

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Poet Among Us

Metallica's Revenge by Kitty Kitten

There once whaled a wookie named (s)Anders,
t'whose whims brawny Vag often panders.
But when puck upon ice
crafts a slippery vice,
Quoth Chest(y): "Have ye Kitties no standards?"

Sunday, February 8, 2009

HUG BOT 2000: Only a Matter of Time

Quoth Gaffer 2000: "You go stickin' yer hand in the cookie jar too many times, yer bound to git caught.  Mmmm'kay, you know what I mean?"  

Yes, Kitty Nation, it appears that there are now questions about who Wee Hug's other parent really is, with the recent unveiling of the HUG BOT 2000 clothing line putting the cards right there on the table.  It seems that Hugglesworth is carrying Gaffer 2000's love seed steed - HUG BOT 2000.

"Surprised?  No, I can't say as though I'm surprised," said Hildo.  "I've watched Gaffer 2000 pretty much have his way with Hugglesworth for 5 years now.  I mean, that bench bunk in the Vanagan - I'm surprised that didn't do it right there.  He was skull-humping the hell out of him back there.  Hey, it's just one Angel Kiss too many as far as I'm concerned."  

Johnny Rocket had this to say when it was suggested that the illicit impregnation was a result of a cavalier attitude toward his patented Angel Kiss.  "Listen, I've got a professional shuffleboard tour to look after here.  I'm very busy.  I can't always be watching what a couple of dumb kids are doing in the back of a van.  You can't blame me because they didn't know how to do it the right way."  

Stay tuned for details on the upcoming mid-winter/early spring HKAC Classic, which this year will feature an Angel Kiss Safety Workshop.  To sign up, please contact Assistant Team Sub-Captain of Procedures, Rectitude and Family Planning, Brandon Kowloon.