Monday, April 19, 2010

Brandon Kowloon in Boston

Opting for the increasingly popular Reverse Hildo Training Plan (see: Hildo, B; Chesto, J.), Brandon Kowloon today ended weeks of speculation about his non-preparation preparations for Boston by clippity clopping to a 2:27:51. For six weeks now, Kowloon has put the old gear shift in neutral, asserting that Hildo "had it all wrong" about whipping it into shape in those final weeks. Instead, Kowloon relied on heavy doses of babysitting, standing in the rain giving splits to collegiate racer walkers, and Sunday drives on the Jersey Turnpike over the final days.

When a nagging little broken hip flared up, Kowloon even eschewed the advice of his respected running doctor Chestostopholes (Chesto-stoff-o-leez), who had already ordered up the super-sized portions of Coca Cola and cortisone. It is still unclear whether Chestostopholes planned to share his wares.

"I thought Kowloon was doing this crazy approach," commented the freshly chaste Gaffer 2000, from beneath his burka. "I guess I'm just not one for new fads in training. Call me old fashioned. Oh well."

A tip of the cap to Kowloon, who has already filed papers for the handicap division on Johnny Rocket's shuffleboard tour.

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