Headlines
- Cap'n Donaldo, seen here with the newest Kitty, Bubbles, expects more out of HKAC this year: "I thought Brandon Kowloon could use a new training partner. There's no rest for the weary. By the way, has anyone seen Bubbles' leash?"
- Chaffmaster B, in the last three weeks, has dropped 16:56 in a 5k and 14:22 in a 2.6 miler. Speculation abounds that the lean harrier has also dropped his trademark childbearing hips.
- Rumor has it that HKAC captain Madge is prostituting himself - again. This time, thankfully, Gaffer 2000 is not involved. It seems that Madge will be selling rights to the new 1.99 and 2.20 mile legs of RTB 2009(http://www.rtbrelay.com/pdfs/Combined_Maps_RTB2009.pdf), though inside sources believe he is coveting those distances for himself. In recent organ-eye-zational meetings, Madge has referred openly to a "Paternity Leg" clause, after which he cryptically added, "And by Paternity Leg, I mean that dong on Grady Superstar."
- Due to budget constraints, there will be no Van Plan, vans, or race bibs in 2009. In unrelated news, the new Sash Guide and hot pink "third jerseys" should be ready any day now.
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