Kickin' It Old Skool '06

With props to our dancers, our shooter (!), and our faultless editor, Tiny Kit:

Name Change?

And no, for you cynical cats out there keeping track of my blog topics history, I am not suggesting we change our team name to Hello Chesty Athletic Club. At least not yet...

If someone were to hypothetically make that nomination, however, I might second it.

Monday's Blue Plate Fare: A Side of Chesticles

Q: Are you in for RTB, Version 2009.It's-a-long-way-to-the-top-if-you-want-to-rock-and-roll.7th-year.Beachtember.biz.gov.doc?

A: Nice, now I have that awesome AC/DC song in my head. Count me in. I hope to drop the five minutes the team needed just from my legs alone. Let me know what kind of money I owe you. Thanks for coming out on Saturday. Sorry you missed out on the rest of the run. We kept a pretty consistent pace until we started heading back to Cambridge. Gaffer and I started throwing down all sorts of crazy shazamm in the final miles. He was complaining all the way.

Signed, Chesticles


Editor's Note: This representative e-mail from Chesticles begs the following commentary:

1. Yes, it is truly a wonderful AC/DC song.

2. When Chesticles refers to dropping 5 minutes, do you think he means from his time or does he intend to actually slice 5 minutes off of his legs?

3. Prompt payment is the preferred currency of HKAC.

4. You can bet the "shazamm" referred to in the final miles of Saturday's run included one turned ankle, one stranded runner, 3 miles erroneously estimated at 6:00 pace (7:30 actual), at least two miles at 5:50 pace, lots of surges, lots of Van Halen, some chafing-related blood, one hidden replenishment of Gatorade, and a whole lot of kvetching from Gaffer 2000.

Chesticles: Philly Not Good Enough For Joe Pesci...Or Me

The Philadelphia Marathon, and indeed, the City of Brotherly Love, lost its last living supporter on Sunday when HKAC's marathon leader Chesticles appeared to call it curtains on his Philly career.

Spitting nails at the finish, Chesticles questioned the race organizers' decision to place a steeple pit (partially frozen over) at mile 22. Furthermore, Chesticles was a vocal dissenter on the decision to keep no times this year, in what had been described as an 'I'm okay, you're okay, time is all relative anyway' approach to the competition.

Despite these setbacks, Chesticles was able to pump out a 2:54:02 on his own watch, no small feat considering that the man had been declared legally dead earlier this fall. "I mean, when he went into the toilet at RTB, I didn't think it was in the figurative sense at all, man," remarked Gaffer 2000. "I really thought he was dead. Mmm'kay, man?"

For his part, the eternal flame himself weighed in: "To paraphrase my friend Leo Getz in Lethal Weapon 2, 'They f@!k you at Philly! They f%^k you at Philly!' Oh, and f#$k Stallone and the Eagles too. Okay okay okay okay okay okay."

With that, the HKAC marathon season abruptly ends.

Gaffer 2000 Possibly Outraged by Hugglesworth’s Research Breakthrough

Gaffer 2000’s reaction to the news that Hugglesworth had cracked the mystery of cloning a mutant distance runner to replace him for the 2009 RTB could not have been more expected.

Found lying filthy, naked and drunk on a bench in a local Roxbury park he initially responded, “What? YOU again?! No, I will NOT MARRY YOU MR. ROBOT!...Uraaaagh!”

After several cups of coffee and three cigarettes subdued the bout of vomiting he added, “Oh, yes, THAT. I have literally hundreds of jars of research stored on my closet shelf! I have a mullet and wear a kilt! You’re telling me that Hugglesworth was able to figure out how to make one before ME?!”

The interview then came to an abrupt end after Gaffer 2000 leapt off the bench and began singing “Like a Virgin” while simultaneously spinning in place and relieving his bowels like some sort of futuristic farming equipment.

Newest Member?

News Flash!!!

Recently Announced by the Assistant to the Assistant to the Team Captain of Team Spirit, Christopher St. Huggins has gone ahead and filled any open spots on next years team (that means you Knapp) with a one armed (don't worry, that's just the imaging), thick brow'd, giant headed Cromagnon Alien baby.
Quote Huggins: "I really felt that team needed to focus on building up our farm system."
In response Anders "The Capt'n" Peterson was quoted thusly, "That things already got those Molly/Truddy hamsticks for legs. Is it giving me the bird with it's middle toe?"
WeeHuggins was unavailable for comment per his/her recent recruitment but did offer some strange swimming motions, and an umbilical wiggle for all the fans to see.
"Gosh, it's sure gonna be nice not to be the youngest on the team anymore." We could hear Truddy McBedpan mumble in the background of the news conference. "Maybe I can finally get me a nice bite of Broccoli RAAABE when I get out of here." "It's pronounced RAHBE, like AH, you tard." An irate Brendan Callahan was heard to say after being slighted at a recent post NYC Marathon Sports Illustrated Interview. "I don't care who Huggins thinks he's gettin' on this team." BC shouted at reporters. "I've got a contract. A CONTRACT!!! He can't cut me!"
Word around the campfire is that WeeHug will be present at winter training camp for some serious shake down and a chance to get used to the majors.

HKAC - This Is Your Life!

Some highly questionable decisions by the RTB Photo Staff.  There must be more of them out there.