An Original

by Chrissy Huggie

Johnny Crotch Rocket

Jocked his rotch in my crocket

What the sprocket,

Fudgie McRocket?

Puss Came Dancing Out of a Barn

As told by Little Hugbottoms and Peter Panders Peckerson, to Brandy Brendy Dingleroot:

The Cock and the Hen

As read by C.H. Hugglesworth, to Prof. Rumplicious, D.M.D.:

A Cherry

As told by Trudy McBedpans to Hey Bear:

A Cherry

As I went through the garden gap,

Who should I meet but Dick Redcap!

A stick in his hand, a stone in his throat -

If you'll tell me this riddle, I'll

give you a groat.

Bobby Shaftoe

As told by Hildo to Johnny Rocko:

Bobby Shaftoe

Bobby Shaftoe's gone to sea,

With silver buckles on his knee:

He'll come back and marry me,

Pretty Bobby Shaftoe!

Bobby Shaftoe's fat and fair,

Combing down his yellow hair;

He's my love everymore,

Pretty Bobby Shaftoe.

Little Pussy

As told by Gaffer 2000, to Senor Hugglesworth Jr. w/ cheese:

Little Pussy

I like little Pussy,

Her coat is so warm,

And if I don't hurt her,

She'll do me no harm;

So I'll not pull her tail,

Nor drive her away,

But Pussy and I

Very gently will play.

The Real Mother Goose

As told by Hugglesworth, to Gaffer 2000, on this holiest of holy holidays:

Clap Handies

Clap, clap handies,

Mammie's wee, wee ain;

Clap, clap handies,

Daddie's comin' hame,

Hame till his bonny wee bit laddie;

Clap, clap handies,

My wee, wee ain.

Be Thankful, Kittys!

It can safely be said that the scariest possible scenario has happened: in the absence of Garcon, Hey Bear, Hug, myself, or other marginally sensible Kittys, Tafka and Vadge appear to have become inseparable training partners.

The recipe: take all of Vadge's crazy conspiracy theory suppository training beliefs and his running thong, add Tafka's maniacal self-flagellation and another dash of rock n roll-infused conspiracy theory, and top it all off with their commonly held core principle that HARD, IMMEDIATE over-the-top miles is the surest way to improvement, if not injury. Result: one cluster-fizzy-lizzy of a turkey day run for the rest of us.

Also in the news: the crack RTB webmaster, Tortoise, has just now placed Trudy McBedpans and his "special" 2009 RTB race hair as the first photo in the homepage slideshow. Look pretty, Kittys!


And lastly, some Thanksgiving directions, courtesy of Johnny Rocket:

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=manchester%2C%20uk&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-US&oe=utf8&rlz=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wl

If...Then

Where it is resolved that NBB > BAA at Mayor's Cup, and HKAC > NBB in just kind of an all around sense, then let it be known that HKAC > BAA. And Brandon Kowloon needs to be wearing the right sweater.

USATF NE Champs, 11/8/09, 10k

Brandon Kowloon, 4th, 31:30

Meow Rocket meow meow

Meow meow meow Rocket meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow 10K. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow PR meow meow meow meow. And meow meow meow meow meow meow meow ankle.

Reachtober